 The truth was never an issue with me, but when it came...
My life has been nothing but short of confessions, but you look me in the eyes and you see The Truth I refuse to admit. Is it wrong to live a lie when so much life has emerged from it? It’s hard to say I love you when I don’t even love myself. I put up illusions to hide my true confessions. You said a kiss won’t make all of these insecurities go away. You tell me to just stay so you can help me love me. You said you’ll wait until I’m in love with me so that I can finally love you, and let you love me the way you need to. To hide the Truth I refuse to Admit. Rather live a lie, than tell the truth that could cause a part of me to die. I used to think the truth was only just smoke and mirrors, and that the lies are where our real selves lie. My truth is that love is always on my mind and that you were always at the center. But I would never let my truth venture too far out into the light. You said a kiss won’t make all of these insecurities go away, but I wanna get lost in you. Because sometimes it’s easier to be lost than to be found. I don’t wanna make a sound, I want to forget that I’m even here, but you refuse to let me submit. You want me to admit... You ask for the truth to the one thing I’ve been lying about. Because you refuse to let me forget and move on. The Truth I won’t admit has gotten me through everything, but something in this moment stops here. It makes me fall short And yet I still want to lie. I’ve never been afraid to die, but I’ve been afraid to leave this world because of a broken heart.
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 Responsibility is the key to living
with things, things we can not change. Some choices can not be replaced, time can not be rearranged. Some mistakes can be forgiven, but they will have the will to linger, have the will to never be forgotten. They will have the ability to run through us but will never have the power to truly haunt us. Mistakes become past, and we can allow the same choices to become present. The past may haunt you, but it will never stop you from being free. We always breathe in and breathe out. Guilt is a symptom of lingering phantoms. Whispers that catch us when we’re about to cry. While our hearts skip remembering a beautiful memory, forcing us to cautiously embrace a past. Live with everything and just live. Breathe in and out and just breathe Let it all in and grow to let it all go. The past may haunt you, but it will never stop you from being free. We always Breathe a new future. Past mistakes may have the ability to run through us, but they never have the power to say within us, to haunt us. Hopefully, we grow and won’t even notice we let it all go and the haunting becomes no longer a choice, but a forgotten story.  You feel unheard, you feel like someone has
to believe in you for you to breathe. That’s toxic thinking, no one can believe in you like you believe in yourself, no can love you, like you can love yourself. Hold your own head up, help yourself, push yourself while everyone watches out for everyone. God never gives up too much we can't handle. And on those days when we feel the weight, it’s never too much for us. Breathe for yourself, because you’ll pass out and die waiting for anyone else to love you like you should be loving yourself. At one point we stand alone, but that doesn’t mean we lose. We just gotta breathe and for a moment love ourselves like no one else is out there. Take a moment and breathe for yourself. Love and believe in yourself like no one else is out there. You feel unloved like everyone has someone but you’re just alone. Alone never means lonely. Alone means waiting for the not so perfect ending and embracing a new beginning. Love is more than just I love yous quick kisses, it’s about loving yourself and believing that you’re just enough for whoever finds You. Hold your own head up, help yourself, push yourself while everyone loves someone who might even be there tomorrow. Until then love Yourself like no one else is out there, like no one else can compare. Breathe for yourself, because you’ll pass out and die waiting for anyone else to love you like you should be loving yourself. At one point we stand alone, but that doesn’t mean we lose. Doesn’t mean we lose at love, it just means we gotta breathe and for a moment love ourselves like no one else is out there. Take a moment and breathe for yourself. Love and believe in yourself like no one else is out there. Breathe for yourself, because you’ll pass out and die waiting for anyone else to love you like you should be loving yourself. |
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June 2021
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