 Thought I was done, finished and
worn out. Didn’t have any new reason to fight. I tried to make things right instead of learning from this and moving and realizing that I’m a different person than I was yesterday. I know what I want, I know what I need, I know what I needed to see. I learned who I am now and that... I’m so much stronger than yesterday. I’m so much wiser than yesterday. I’m more ambitious than yesterday, as I look at tomorrow with no sorrows or regrets, I don’t want to forget the past it made me who I am. Stronger than I was yesterday. Brave for today and every new sunlight to rise and every moonlight to set and express that I am so much stronger than yesterday. I used to pass by the mirror and feel like I was nothing like I was wasting my time. I couldn’t see anything else but me trying to be happy when I was clearly breaking and I was taking shots to make the pain disappear. I saw a reflection and no chance of finding the right direction until I realized that it was right in front of me. I’m so much stronger than yesterday. I’m so much wiser than yesterday. I’m more ambitious than yesterday, as I look at tomorrow with no sorrows or regrets, I don’t want to forget the past it made me who I am. Waves of pressure make me into the indestructible steel, made all of the pain worth it, and that me being here was real. I was who I am today which was stronger than I was yesterday. Yesterday is gone, but the lessons are here to stay. Letting me know who I am today and that I’m stronger than yesterday. That I’m better than yesterday, I’m new a person today. Living like steel that won’t break, living like a fire that can’t go out, living like a waterfall that is stronger for the rest of its days. I’m stronger than yesterday. So much stronger than yesterday.
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 I find myself alone at night.
Nothing in my view but the stars. I feel the weight just drop off but in my room, I sit alone sometimes thinking I’m too far gone. People right outside, yet I feel like I can’t talk to anyone. Sometimes I don’t know what to do, I look in the mirror only to tell myself I have to be strong because there is... No room to break, no room to lose it, no room to face the pain, to tell myself the truth when I look in the mirror so I let it all out in a new entry of... Poetry Poetry is my key for crying with no one seeing. Poetry is my key for breaking with me keeping my outside so beautifully woven together. Poetry is my key to the truth, I never have the courage to say. Poetry is my key to open up while still keeping it all on the inside. Poetry is my key to smiling when I can’t get one together on the spot. When the words won’t come full circle. Poetry is my key to keep it all in, to let it out. To express myself I write a new entry of poetry. Face to face with myself. The darkness looming over me. The hell in the back of my mind. I don’t want to cry, I don’t want to break in front of crowds then lie saying I’m tired. When in reality I’m lost in the pain. I don’t want to face the truth, the pain, the hell as it all comes full circle. I find myself once again alone in my room crying saying… No room to break, no room to lose it, no room to face the pain, to tell myself the truth when I look in the mirror so I let it all out in a new entry of… Poetry Poetry is my key for crying with no one seeing. Poetry is my key for breaking with me keeping my outside so beautifully woven together. Poetry is my key to the truth, I never have the courage to say. Poetry is my key to open up while still keeping it all on the inside. Poetry is my key to smiling when I can’t get one together on the spot. When the words won’t come full circle. Poetry is my key to keep it all in, to let it out. To express myself I write a new entry of poetry. My words can be a peaceful lesson or just another chapter of my black poetry. No matter the meaning behind the words it’s my way to live, to break, to breathe when the words won’t come full circle, but a place where I can come full circle. Poetry is my key to let it all out, the key to keep it all in. I come full circle in poetry. |
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November 2022
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