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#16: Drift

6/6/2021

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Picture
When I let my mind drift

I find myself waiting in question
Find myself searching for the me
in question. I find myself waking up
in the daydream and taking it by
the seams. Creating a reality, using
a type of creativity I thought I had 
lost when I healed. 

As I let my mind drift.

I could see that I was too busy trying
to find a reason to be broken because
I had convinced myself that I was more
productive when I was in that state of 
mind. I was more creative broken, I was 
more less awakened in the mindset of forgetting.
Forgetting that the pain was supposed
to eventually fade, but I let it shape, let it
take the form of my coveted creativity. 

As I let my mind drift. 

Back to the areas of my creativity
discovering that I never lost it. I just
had to find away to process this new
found sense of reality. Realizing I
didn’t know how to be accustomed to this
new happy, this new sense of I’m
grown up. 

The moment I let my mind drift.

I unearthed the real progression that
came with all my confessions.

​
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#15

6/3/2021

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Picture
Used to losing my way, but I’ve never been this 
close to falling from grace. Each conflict I’m trying
to prove to others, prove to myself who I am. Had heart
to hearts with myself, but I still have that insecurity 
of not wanting to be looked at like I couldn’t
do this on my own. Like I couldn’t make life my own. 

I crawl away and repeat

What am I doing? Almost 10 years later what am I
trying to prove? Who the hell am I trying to prove it 
to? Where am I going this time? What does God 
still have in store for me? What else has life got 
to throw at me? 

Is this the side effects of placing that curtain on the 
mirror? Walking away from the antidotes and just
choosing to get high off of old quotes. I still haven’t
learned to turn to anyone, I candle my life, I control
this flame, but I feel it going out. I guess it’s just time 
for me to fight these side effects again. 

I took to the mirror, whispered reflection and I was
shown someone who still doesn’t know what they want? 
A heart that is still steady, but closer to an edge of 
never believing. Asking them self how will they fall
this time and will this be the time they finally lose 
sight of grace, just to prove the reflection wrong. 

Asking...

Mirror, Mirror on the wall how hard will I fall?
What am I doing? God am I on the right path?
What am I trying to prove? Who the hell am I 
trying to prove it to? Is the fall from grace really
the true ending to my story? 

Is this the side effects of placing that curtain on the 
Mirror? Do I really have the strength to try this again?
Do I really have what it takes to make my mark? As I fall 
down everything just freezes. My eyes open...

I stand up, face myself clear my mind, finally realize that, 
when I fall down the only eyes that are looking are mine 
seemingly dead in the reflection, but clearly still
alive. These side effects got me all a wreck, but when 
I breathe, I can see. Realize that the story is only done
when I say it is.

​
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  • 10 Year Anniversary
  • Stream My Album & EP
  • My Story...
  • Upcoming Projects
  • The Latest
  • Lyric Collections & More
    • Bookshelf
    • Moonlight Era >
      • Peace X The Black Poet: Moonlight
      • Black Poet Blog
    • AKA Peace & Love Feels Like Era 2013-2020
    • Possibilities & Heartbreak Love Stories: Volumes 1-3 >
      • Possibilities & Heartbreak Love Stories Vol.1
      • The Strength To Love You: Possibilities Vol. 2
      • Ghost & Breathe: Heartbreak LoveStories Vol.3
    • The Dreamscape Confessions (2020)
    • A Winter's Moonlight
    • Life Lessons >
      • Last Life Lesson 2019
  • The Deon Durr Show (Podcast)
  • Deon Durr Creates
    • The Creators Collection
    • Bookstore
  • Universe Stories
    • Wayward Hills
    • Into Darkness Shorts