#15

Used to losing my way, but I’ve never been this 
close to falling from grace. Each conflict I’m trying
to prove to others, prove to myself who I am. Had heart
to hearts with myself, but I still have that insecurity 
of not wanting to be looked at like I couldn’t
do this on my own. Like I couldn’t make life my own. 

I crawl away and repeat

What am I doing? Almost 10 years later what am I
trying to prove? Who the hell am I trying to prove it 
to? Where am I going this time? What does God 
still have in store for me? What else has life got 
to throw at me? 

Is this the side effects of placing that curtain on the 
mirror? Walking away from the antidotes and just
choosing to get high off of old quotes. I still haven’t
learned to turn to anyone, I candle my life, I control
this flame, but I feel it going out. I guess it’s just time 
for me to fight these side effects again. 

I took to the mirror, whispered reflection and I was
shown someone who still doesn’t know what they want? 
A heart that is still steady, but closer to an edge of 
never believing. Asking them self how will they fall
this time and will this be the time they finally lose 
sight of grace, just to prove the reflection wrong. 

Asking...

Mirror, Mirror on the wall how hard will I fall?
What am I doing? God am I on the right path?
What am I trying to prove? Who the hell am I 
trying to prove it to? Is the fall from grace really
the true ending to my story? 

Is this the side effects of placing that curtain on the 
Mirror? Do I really have the strength to try this again?
Do I really have what it takes to make my mark? As I fall 
down everything just freezes. My eyes open...

I stand up, face myself clear my mind, finally realize that, 
when I fall down the only eyes that are looking are mine 
seemingly dead in the reflection, but clearly still
alive. These side effects got me all a wreck, but when 
I breathe, I can see. Realize that the story is only done
when I say it is.

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