 Tried, trust issues, a heart filled with
unfulfilled wishes. A heavy soul asking why it’s so hard. A broken strength, but holding up so much. I smile and breathe. I’ve been here, that is why I don’t fear, fear the next steps I take. I’ve been here, so I can hear all the right things. See all the best things. Live my life without the added hurt of covering up the wounds in my soul. The sales, the reads, the ones who are weren’t there don’t mean a damn thing to me. Because My story has always been about honesty. well, to be honest, I almost didn’t make it. I went through a good part of my life holding it all in, kinda hoping to see the end. deep down future, I thought I couldn’t win. I’ve been there, that is why I can be alone. Walk alone and not ever feel lonely. The love I got from the world around me lifted me higher than the insecurities inside me. The love I got from the life long blessings around me lifted me higher than the demons deep within me. I saw the signs and thank god I’ve been here before. Been here in this deep end. I saw the sighs so I don’t have to pretend to be stronger than I really am. I’ve been here, so I don’t fear the next chapter. I’ve been here so I can’t wait for the next part of my story to begin. God, I thank you for keeping me here. I’ve been here, but I’ve never been higher than I am right now. I found that everything with a purpose always makes a sound. Which is why I always thank God for keeping me here. I've still here because... I’ve been here, so I can breathe and not have to hold all this pain in.
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 Be careful who you give your heart to.
They’ll let you breathe, and steal your breath without you even knowing. Vanish and then leave you to roam as a ghost while they live a love life with the breath they stole from you. You awaken every ghost in my soul. You stand in my doorway asking me to let you breathe into me again, you bring out the moans in my body. I remember you walking away and not even leaving flowers. I guess you couldn’t stay away like you thought. I haunt you each time you try to get further back. I drag you deeper into the further you have only time for one reaction. The faster you ghost me. The slower I breathe & the slower I breathe the faster my ghost comes to life and looking for the knife in the night that gave me the hardest heart attack. You just left me to ghost and breathe. I guess I wasn't able to resist this faint past life like I thought. You almost bring me back to life, the further I try to pull away you pull me back into a further fantasy. I try to breathe and you stop me. The tighter you hold me, the stronger I release the ghost you created inside me. The longer the embrace the faster the ghost inside me reacts. It rushes to my mind. Because I remember how you just left me to ghost and breathe. The closer it comes to grabbing the knife it comes closer to grabbing that eternity. The closer I come to breathing is the closer I come to my ghost resurrection & in the same instance I come to my revenge. Love stories can shift quickly, start off as beautiful romantic poetics, then in one breath flow to the strings of blackest poetry. Sometimes you just have to feel the Ghost and just Breathe. Then ask yourself was it love or just lust? Then question the moment you seek closure do you see an end in letting go or do you see yourself holding onto revenge? ~The Black Poet |
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November 2022
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