#19: Used To

I’ve been sleeping a little more than I’m
used to, dreaming like I used to instead 
of making it come true. Looking for things
to distract me too, because I don’t want to
think about how my life is so uneasy.

Can’t hide it anymore, can’t fight it anymore.
Don’t wanna end up on the ground like last time.
I’ve had bad days, but this one day it’s all 
coming at me, and I don’t know what I need 
to do.

I guess it took this one bad day, this one relapse 
to pick the phone up and say hey, pray and talk 
to God like I used to, be honest with myself like 
no one is around. I’ve been strong for so long I 
forgot how to ask for help. 

I didn’t want to pay attention to things that capture
my weakest attention and make me feel like nothing. 
I don’t feel the energy to wake up and conquer the 
world, I just want to dream about things I want like I 
used to. When I was okay with just okay. 

It hasn’t been easy, it hasn’t been hard either, it’s just
been there. I’ve just been there. Okay with just anything
okay with just dreaming. 

I guess it took this one bad day, this one relapse 
to pick the phone up and say hey, pray and talk 
to God like I used to, be honest with myself like 
no one is around. 

I’ve been strong for so long I forgot how to ask for help. 

I just wanna free myself and I guess it took one bad for 
me to see the road again. To see that...

I’ve come along way, and I don’t want to let one bad 
day to stop me like it used to yesterday. I want to see 
the road again and it took this one bad day to remind me
of how I used to be, took this one bad day to remind of
who I am and who I can be.

I guess it took this one bad day, this one relapse to make 
me pick up the phone again and say hey, pray and talk to 
God like I used to. Be honest with myself like I used to. Get 
a glimpse of what Freedom Feels like again. 

I guess it takes a couple of bad days to make you feel like
​you used to. To make you want to taste freedom again.