#20: Revisitng Peace in December

Waking up on a cold December night and you are not in my sight.
I fight back the flooding tears; because I will never feel you on my skin again.
Nights like this, I pray you come through the door to hold me.
Under the heavenly lights.
This night is breaking me and tearing my heart apart.

I never thought I would bear this time.
Without you here with me
Waking up on the first of many cold days
Going to sleep on my many cold nights.
Realizing you are not coming home. 

Bearing December with so much pain in my heart. 
Bearing December alone in my bed, in my house, in my soul.
Bearing December with no one to talk to.
Looking at the snow on the ground and I can see you coming to the door.
Holding back tears, this December.

The first night is the hardest; the first break of daylight is the most
overbearing. Everyone asking how am I holding up? They feel the cold on my
skin, and the pain begins to win. The tears begin to flood, and then I go back
To our room wishing it was not a cold December, because I can’t bear this time
without you.

I never thought I would bear this time.
Without you next to me.
Waking up on the first of many closed spaces.
Going to sleep on the first of many filled nights
realizing you are not coming home. As the 
memories don’t slow down. 

Bearing December with so much pain in my heart. 
Bearing December alone in my bed, in my house, in my soul.
Bearing December with no one to talk to
Looking at the snow on the ground, and I can remember seeing you
Last December coming to the door.
Holding back tears, on this December

Holding myself up at the front door and the cold 
Is hitting my skin, and the snow seem like slow rain drops.
Missing you this hard on this month, bearing this cold December. 
I put faith in god you are here with me, not the way I want you
But having you here with me in my soul is enough for me to bear this
December

Bearing December with so much pain in my heart. 
Bearing December alone in our bed, in our house, in my soul.
Bearing December with no one to talk to except the memories 
of you.

Looking at the snow on the ground and I can see you coming to the door.
As I begin to hold back tears, this December.