 It only takes a minute to see how we destroy
ourselves. We blame life for not giving us what we need and for always having our backs against the wall. We place the blame on everything else, but our own thoughts. We can’t live life without getting burned. But it’s wasn’t life that burned us, I look back and see that it wasn’t life that was breaking me it wasn’t life that destroying me at this point it’s not hard to tell my story. I didn’t need life to destroy me because for years I destroyed myself. Going back on my words, breaking promises I made to myself. Lying saying it wasn’t me, but knowing damn well it was every piece of me. I just didn’t want a part of me to grow and be happy. It’s funny how we treat ourselves and blame it on life. So lonely we take what we feel we can get. We take any kind of contact. We take any phrase of words whispered into our ears to make us feel good, to make us feel like we’re something instead of just nothing. Because we won’t accept the fact that despite all this damn heartbreak we were always worth it. It’s hard when you tell you’re own story for the first time, but not me I had to face the fact that I was... Letting entanglements trick me into thinking I loved something despite the fact I watched as it destroyed me. Looking back I saw how it made me push away people who could give me that happy ending I saw while I was constantly dreaming. We fuck up our own lives and it’s the life that tries to saves us. We live and learn as it’s not the life that burns us with the lessons we refused to learn. The life lessons we refused to acknowledge. The moments we lost, the ones that got away we’ll never know we had. Sometimes we just gotta hold ourselves accountable and tell our stories of how we almost destroyed ourselves. We’ll look back and say it’s funny.
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 We don’t gotta wait for the phases
of the moon to make to be alright. We don’t gotta wait for a change to appear in our souls. Making that bread is something that will never be dead, but being alright is something that is slowly being forgotten. Our growth is something we tend to put on hold, because we feel we gotta keep up with the mindset of the idea of young. We always seem to wait for the new year. always seem to wait until the end of the Year. For a change... We don’t gotta wait until the end of the year to be alright. We survive, we strive we live by trying to die. In the same breath, we try to die with something to leave behind. Living is always pure motivation. The only thing we keep surface as we scream for change, but we race back to the old ways. Though when do we learn that we don’t gotta wait for a new year to be alright? This voice inside your head is only an invitation, a chance to make a change. Something will never die, like the chance to change… We can fight today, cry the next, be brave any night. Let it all go and go ghost, get lost in someone or something right now. We don’t we don’t gotta wait until the end of the year fucking to be alright. We survive, we strive, we live, we try to die with something to leave behind each day & night. We don’t gotta wait until the end of the year to be alright. We don’t gotta wait to change our Light, we don’t gotta wait to cry. We don’t gotta wait to get lost in someone, to be a part of something we don’t gotta wait until the end of the year to be alight.  I’ve lived in the sense that I’m still
alive. I’ve lived in the midst of the deepest heartbreaks. I’ve smiled to the point where I’ve cried. I’ve been thankful in the moments where I should have been selfish, I’ve been grateful in the moments where I should have been heartless. I’ve seen clearly, but I’ve followed blindly. I’ve seen the light after many hellish fights, but still found a calm sense of self in the dark. I’ve traveled far but never taken a step, I’ve taken a step and went to the reaches of the creativity. I’ve dreamed to be among the stars, I’ve woken up and created realities and crafted countless galaxies. I’ve looked for myself when I wasn’t even missing. I’ve found me even when I thought there was nothing to find. I’ve failed, but I’ve lived life with everything. I’ve lived feeling like I wasn’t enough. I’ve lived knowing I was everything. I’ve lived writing out my pain, I’ve lived singing my heart out. I’ve lived in the pulse, but never in the loop. I’ve lived knowing peace, I’ve lived embracing me. I’ve lived in the sense that I’m still alive. I’ve lived in the sense that I’m still here. I’ve lived. I’m Alive, I’m Living... |
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